He Loves Me Like Jesus Does

{Okay, so I couldn’t wait to do another marriage post until Monday. Just couldn’t do it. So happy Marriage Friday!}

 

Have you ever heard that song? I’d say it’s a favorite of mine. I like Eric Church period, but that song…

All the crazy in my dreams,
both my broken wings,
every single piece of everything I am.
[S]he knows the [wo]man I ain’t,
[S]he forgives me when I can’t.
That devil, man, he don’t stand a chance.
[S]he loves me like Jesus does.

I always thought [s]he’d give up on my one day,
Wash [his] hands of me, leave me staring down some runway.
But I thank God each night and twice on Sunday
that [s]he loves me like Jesus does.

 

I can’t say enough good things about my husband. And the saddest part, to me, is that sometimes {most of the time} the way I treat him doesn’t show how I feel about him.

I really am lucky.

I think the world of that man. And he is my world. My whole wide world in one person. This amazing soul of his is one of the biggest motivating factors in me trying better myself. I want to be like him, and have the patience, forgiveness, grace and mercy that he shows this tired, tortured soul on a daily basis.

I hurt him sometimes, and immediately after regret it. I don’t want to hurt him, but I do. And then I think, “God gave him to you to trust his heart in your hands for this temporary life you’re living and this is how you take care of it?”

I never realized how selfish I was until I got married. He gives, gives, gives and I take, take, take without thinking twice and then wanting more.

I’m not going to condemn myself because that would be a reflection of me throwing his love away, and I will not do that.

Somehow, though, this man sees only good in me where, on even my best day, I can maybe find one or two good qualities. I want him to feel the way he makes me feel. My body feels warm when I think about him, and I just begin to get this overwhelmingly comfortable sense in my entire being.

I have never known a love so deep and true until the day I met him.

Marriage Mondays: Identity in Marriage

I was talking to one of my best friends about our marriages and how previous issues had molded us so greatly and how those issues have caused negative things. I was married before I met my lovely wife, Savannah, and the events leading up to the end of that marriage completely destroyed my sense of self and who I thought I was. I did not see it at the time, but God was reshaping my identity in Him so that I could better fulfill my role as Savannah’s husband.

It’s important to realize that although you have a very important identity as a couple, you still have your own individual identities as well. I had completely lost mine before and became buried alive under the weight of all my “titles”.

It is by the grace of God everyday that I am any good to my wife and children. By going to God for your identity, He will lead you to your destiny and in turn use you as a man to lead your wife into her destiny and the callings He has for your marriage.

Seek out that truth, and you will be blessed.

Happy Monday!

-Jason

Uplifting in Discouragement Part 3

Okay, so here’s something very cool. Before all of that emotional, spiritual stuff happened, I had seen the pastor’s wife, Chris, that morning. She stopped by to say good morning, and said, “I had no idea you were coming!” I explained, in short, all of the last minute things that had brought me there and that I was so excited for the weekend. We had our brief conversation, and both went about our business.

After our time of worship, Chris got up to welcome the speaker again and announced that she had some gifts to give away. We had little lanyards with our names and each woman had a different number. She started calling out random numbers and whoever owned the number got up and chose a gift. Now, I’m never the person to win those sorts of things, so I tuned out and just clapped for the women who got something. It was nice little treats such as lotions, soaps and candles. You know, little things that women love.

Anyways, all the gifts had been handed out. Then she said, “I have a couple bigger gifts to give away. God put this person on my heart about 4 months ago {when Katie was getting married. We were all around each other a lot at that time}.” Then she said, “Savannah Lucero,” and I thought, “me?” Well, duh, that’s my name. I walked up to the stage where she was standing and she looked me in the eyes and said, “I have a gift for you, but first; God put you and your husband on my heart, and I wanted to tell you Don’t. Give. Up. Keep pursuing the Lord and He has a special place set aside for the both of you and you are going to do awesome things for Him.”

Wow.

Even thinking about those words that she spoke to me 6 days ago brings tears to my eyes. We haven’t had a lot of rainbows and butterflies in our journey, but those words made me want to keep fighting. And to never give up. I just thought how good God is that He spoke those words to our pastor to give to me at the exact moment I needed it. I had been so down and torn up trying to fight all the battles life has given me. And then this glimpse. This glimpse of the end of our fighting and our struggles, showing me that YES! Someday, it will all be worth it. All of it. And that there won’t be a single thing that I will look back on and think, “Man, I wish I didn’t have to go through that.” Because the end is in sight, and I see a beautiful light glimmering just for husband and I.

So there you have it. Oh yeah, the gift! Remember when I talked about how I {very} briefly thought about going to the spa, and then I saw the prices and changed my mind? Well, that sweet lady gave me a $100 gift card toward the spa!

It was such a special treat and I had been wanting to get a massage for like the past year. It’s awesome to me how she didn’t even know I was going to be there and all these amazing things happened. There for a reason, right?

A glimmer of hope in a dark, dry world.

Okay, there’s still more {yes, I’m sorry. I’m a talker} but until next week, I hope you all enjoy your weekend and beautiful weather!

Uplifting in Discouragement

I have to share with you something amazing that happened to me this weekend.

I went to a Women’s Retreat with 250+ women from JFC, as a last minute deal. I was planning on going about 3 weeks in advance, then roommate things fell through, and I had just made terms with myself that I wasn’t able to go. So of course, Husband buys a TV instead since we weren’t spending the 200 bucks for me to go {okay, we really deserved it – we had been watching a TV that had LED leaking right through the middle. For two years}.

So, on the last day of registration, my friend texted me and asked if I was going, and I told her no, unfortunately. She responded with “well, there’s still one more spot in my room!” That gave a little glimmer of hope, but then the TV thing crept up in my mind. I said “thank you, but let me speak with Jason. We didn’t think I was going, so he bought a TV, and I’m not sure if we’ll be able to swing the money.” After I asked Jason, {and I told him ONLY IF it’s not putting us in a bad situation – could you imagine going to a life-changing event to come back to face guilt and ruin everything you gained?} she responded to me before he could and told me that the church would give me a scholarship to go.

So, the decision was made. Total God thing, right?

Anywho, that’s just the tip of the iceberg for the amazing stuff.

I read the email that was sent to me after I registered to go, and it said if you mention that you are at the Jubiliee Fellowship Ladies conference, you get 30% off at the hotel’s spa. So, I searched the website, and even with 30 percent off, the cheapest thing was a 75 dollar pedicure. No thanks. And that was that.

A series of other last-minute God things helped me get up to Beaver Creek, and while the girls I rode with and I were about an hour late, we made it in the middle of the first session where Terri Furr was speaking. It was a little difficult for me to get into at first because I came halfway through and wasn’t entirely caught up with what she was talking about. But then the end of that first night kind of set the tone for the rest of the weekend.

These words: Pride really isn’t the conventional way we think of pride {oh, I’m so good at this, etc.}. Pride is preoccupation with one’s self.

Woah. Maybe that doesn’t rock you like it rocks me, but it in all my sadness, complaining, talking about myself; that is my pride. Talking about how rough life can be or how things always happen to me that don’t happen to others. That really threw a wrench in my thinking.

Then she said: The opposite of pride is humility. You become humble when you choose gratitude.

That makes total sense, right? Instead of my normal, “woah is me” thoughts, I should be thanking God for what I DO have. Which is so much more than some others. Then, my thinking will shift to those others who so often go with out. And like that, gratitude changes pride to humility.

Okay, so that was the first day. And that was after I didn’t think I was getting anything out of the first message because I came late.

But like I said, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Stay tuned tomorrow to find out how good God is {if all this hasn’t convinced you yet}.

Beautiful Things

Okay, so I have to admit: I’ve been absolutely horrendous about keeping up my Beautiful Things posts for Fridays. You know how it is, life just gets in the way sometimes, or if you’re like me, you often forget to snap a photo in the moment. So this week, I don’t have a picture for everyday of the week. I have a bunch of pictures {I’ll only post a few} of one really beautiful moment that was so special to me.

I have long dreamed of having a farm, and as husband consistently discouraged that dream, it went from being a farm, to just having land with a few animals. A few chickens, a goat or two and maybe some horses. That’s not too much to ask, right?

Anyways, I did some research and convinced husband to go with me to Peaceful Prairie Sanctuary – an animal sanctuary that rescues farm animals from slaughter or other abuse.

Being the die-hard animal lover that I am, it’s pretty needless to say that I was in heaven for an hour and a half. And bless husbands heart, he agreed not only to go, but also to drive the hour and a half east to get there, then back. He knew I would love it, so it wasn’t so bad for him.

Here are some snapshots of our little trip:

This sweet cows name is Beatrice. Beatrice was born at the sanctuary and has never had to suffer.

This sweet blind cows name is Pierre. He has a best friend who leads him around. They are always touching.

Okay, so besides dogs, goats are absolute favorite animal.

Marriage Mondays: Guest Post by Kassi Chapman

I’d like to start this with some wise words by  Big Sean, via Mr. Justin Bieber:

But the grass ain’t always greener on the other side,
It’s green where you water it
So I know we got issues baby true, true, true
But I’d rather work on this with you
Than to go ahead and start with someone new
As long as you love me

Now, I’m not much of a Belieber, nor did I ever have Bieber Fever, but when I heard that line I was like “Yeah! Preach is Biebs!!” I mean, that is some good stuff right there.

It really is so easy getting caught up in checking out other people’s grass, and many times thinking whatever they’ve got is better than yours. I know I’ve had those thoughts, looking at other people and feeling a tad envious. A couple of “man, it must be nice to be her…” thoughts here and there.

Honestly, we’ve been blessed beyond measure. Two great jobs, a sweet, beautiful baby, a great house, etc. Nonetheless it’s easy to get caught up in what you don’t have, or what someone else has that’s better than your own.

Recently I had a couple of eye openers where I learned that what “she” had wasn’t really as great as I thought. That while I was sitting there thinking their lives must be so easy and great, in reality it wasn’t. In fact I’d count it far less fortunate than my own… and yet I had no idea. It made me realize that you just have to be thankful for what you have… that my own grass is green. Not only that, but it’s my very own shade of green, and try as I might it’ll never be another person’s shade of green, it’ll just be my green. And I think that’s so key to a happy life, and especially a happy marriage.

If you can learn to be content and work with what you have, rather than yearn for bigger or faster or prettier, then you won’t need anything else. You’ll be happy with what you have and if you get more, great. If not, who cares? Because most likely what you have is far better than what a lot of others have. And the bad day you just had? Probably not as bad as a lot of others have had. And that husband of yours? Maybe he does get on your nerves, but he’s all yours.

So next time you get frustrated with what you have… or don’t have… and you just want to give up, take a little tip from the Biebs and just try adding a little water. Maybe you have more of a green thumb than you ever knew.

-Kassi Chapman
IG: kassirosechapman
Blog: http://babiesandbrewskies.blogspot.com/

Step Mothering: Babies & Brewskies

My older sister, Kassi, asked me to do a guest post on her little blog called Babies & Brewskies about mothering, and step mothering in particular. So I know it’s a bit late, but she posted it last Thursday, and you should all go and check it out!

“Being a step mom is difficult, as I’m sure being a biological mother is, as I will someday also know. Growing up, I always knew my sister Kassi as my sister, not my half-sister. She has a different dad than my younger sister and I do, but having the example of how my dad treated my sister was such a blessing as I now look and see myself stepping into the same role. She called him dad. It was normal…”
Read more at my sisters blog, babiesandbrewskies.blogspot.com

PS. Tomorrow will be back to normal blogging.

Enjoy!

Marriage Monday: Have Fun

Good Morning readers,

Today’s post from me does not have a preachy tone or a bible verse to go with. It’s something simple that we all know how to do because in all of our relationships  {I hope} we have had fun together. But this is easy to lose in the happenings of life. The sometimes doldrums tasks of work, bills, kids and every other responsibility seem to bury us and there are many casualties; fun being one of them. For me I have made many life choices that forced me to grow up too fast and in turn have put added stress on our marriage. Having a kid by 19, another when I was 21 and being divorced by 23 were all things that I battled with in losing my identity with Christ, but also in my ability to have fun. I went through a learning phase of having way too much fun and getting out of control. Soon after, though, I came back to a better balance of my responsibilities as a father, but also having tons of fun and that is because I met the love of my life. Going to parties, hanging out with friends and even more important than that, being silly and doing things together is the key here. It can be easy to forget, as I do, but needs to be a priority. For us it means being ridiculous with each other; we have prank called our friends, woken up at 3am just being silly and laughing with each other, killing zombies on the Xbox, painting together and chasing each other around the house. Guys, that one should be easy for you, maybe institute a Naked Thursday and pursue her. We are a young couple, but the things in our life can sometimes accelerate our learning curve. I encourage you all to keep having fun if you are newlyweds, search the fun out if you have lost it at any point and remember: you didn’t marry each other because you wanted a boring existence. Go create the adventure you both crave.

– Jason

Yesterday

Yesterday was March 6th. An ordinary day to you, but a huge turning point in my life. On march 6th, four years ago, I went on a first date.

That would be my last first date.

He was polite, and I had bangs and wore a black dress. He took me to Chinese food and we painted pottery. That last first date set the tone for our entire relationship, in a way. He didn’t know much about me, but he knew I loved to paint. He knew – and he took me to paint pottery. Now, he knows me maybe just a little bit better, and he still takes me to paint pottery. Or gets excited when I find something new to use at the craft store. And supports the Canvas & Cookies and art benefit shows I’ve done {as I write this, he’s sitting next to me at our table, painting his own picture, something me and probably everyone else never expected from this surprising man}.

But not only is he my biggest supporter, but my best friend. Everyone says that, right? And maybe it’s true for them. But I never don’t want to be around him. Ever. There has never been a point in my life, like some women, where I think to myself, “ugh, I wish he’d just go to work or go hang out with his friends.” I mean, I’ve thought to myself, “he needs to hang out with his friends for us to have a healthy relationship.” I’ve even been known to force him to hang out with his dudes because he sometimes goes too long without. But I never want him to leave. More than best friends.

And here we are now, four years after that enchanting, perfect last first date. We haven’t had it easy. No, no. But we recently talked about having it easy, especially early on in life, and how it doesn’t mold you. I never in a million bajillion YEARS thought this is how my life would pan out. When I was 18, if you told me about my life, I wouldn’t believe I would have to go through half of the things that I have. But Jason and I have been refined. We have become not only best friends and lovers, but we have become a team. And a strong one at that. The enemy has definitely tried to attack our marriage because he knows it’s a strong force, but what he didn’t know is that every time that happens, we don’t yell, we don’t get mad at each other, we come side by side.

So, my love, happy anniversary. We have been through so much, but maybe soon, we will get to stand back and breathe. Take a breath in and not have to fight for everything. But even if that doesn’t happen, I will be by your side.

I love you.

Marriage Mondays Part 6: Submit?

Okay, so I know what a lot of you are thinking. I have been there. The words “submit to your husband” literally used to make me want to puke. I am an extremely strong-willed person. Like, really. So a long time ago, before husband and I met, when my friend suggested I read the book “Created to be His Help Meet”, I read through one chapter, and threw it down in disgust, pretty much immediately.

I wasn’t yet in a place to understand what being a wife means. I had been in serious relationships, but the fact that I wasn’t willing to be the best I could be for them proves that they weren’t the one for me.

One thing for me that stands out about my relationship with my husband apart from other men, is that immediately after I met him, I had an insane amount of respect for him and wanted to do anything to make him happy.

That, my friends, is what being a wife means. And as for “submit to your husband”, I think that our society of feminists and man-haters has perverted the real meaning of that saying. It doesn’t mean that when he says, “Woman, go clean the toilet”, that you do it. It doesn’t mean doing everything he said just because he said it. It means falling under his protection, and when he takes into account the right insight from you or other wise counsel, being able to respect and follow his decision.

As soon as we started dating, my heart was much more open to reading that book, to be the best I could be for him. I like to think that God was saving that special part of me just for him – the part where I’m not so stubborn, and the part where my heart is soft.

Also, when we went to our marriage group a few weeks ago, one of the leaders said something that stuck with me – when your husband makes you feel safe and protected, you want to respect him and respect for men is like the equivalent of love for women. Husband often says that he knows I love him when I respect him. And I want him to feel the remarkable way he makes me feel when he loves me like I need him to.