Husband and I are addicted to a show called Intervention. If you haven’t seen it, it’s pretty self-explanatory; it focuses usually on one individual, but sometimes they share two individual’s stories, whom have an addiction. 99% of the time, the person is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
We went to watch one last night, and it was about two different stories. One girl, Gina, was addicted to heroin. The other, Kaila, was anorexic.
I had never thought about anorexia as an “addiction,” although I’ve often said that during those times, losing weight was addicting, not necessarily the disorder itself. For most, you would probably ask how the two are different. It’s just something that a lot of people won’t understand: there are many facets to an eating disorder, and none of them truly make sense. I mean, a disease that convinces you that you are fat when you are 85 pounds is not likely rational, right?
Anyways, as we were watching {which sometimes can be hard for me}, I got an eery chill in my bones when Kaila spoke the words verbatim that I had said to husband not even two weeks ago.
“I needed something to make me feel special, different. That {anorexia} made me different, and sometimes even better. Powerful; because I could say no. That I didn’t need food when others did.”
Hearing the same words I said coming from another person’s mouth almost made me cry. It truly is that messed up. It’s a disease that festers on a persons insecurity by telling them they are fat, then the insecurity gets worse as you lose the weight; but on the flip side, you feel more powerful?
I don’t think anyone, even people who have been through/are going through it, will ever really understand it. I know I didn’t. People have been trying to figure it out for years, and it being a fairly new disease, a lot of questions have yet to be answered. Who knows if they ever will?
Anorexia Nervosa is the number one mental illness that leads to death. This shows just how powerful it can be: Gina went to treatment, and has been sober since. Kaila left treatment after 12 weeks, and hasn’t spoken to her parents because if she didn’t go to treatment, her parents would stop paying for her schooling.
Anorexia had more power over a woman’s brain than a woman who’s body was physically addicted to heroin.
Just a little food for thought {no pun intended}, I guess. It was just something that had been on my mind since viewing it.
Watch this documentary if you wish to know more about the strange illness.
SavannahSays 