Marriage Mondays Part 3: Compromise

Compromise isn’t something I do easily. I’m just a teensy bit stubborn and won’t usually give in until I get my way {great quality, I know}. So this forged a problem a few nights ago when I was begging and pleading for Husband to get off his computer and spend some face time with me. Usually I can hold out longer than him, but this day he just ignored my annoying nagging, forcing me to do what I do when I don’t win. Go close myself in our room like a child. The reason I use this strategy is because I feel like it will make him feel bad enough to come talk to me {manipulation}. Well, 30 minutes later, I was still alone, laying in our giant bed. So, what do you think happened next? Yep, I fell asleep.

This didn’t turn into a huge fight or anything that composed a big dilemma. But the next day, I told him my feelings were hurt that he didn’t want to spend time with me. He was a little puzzled because he thought, “we were in that same room, how was that not spending time with you?”

Instead of trying to completely understand one another {which often times will never happen}, I texted him later that day and asked him if we could make a compromise and end this problem.

My solution was that we could spend as much time on the computer/phone/electronic as we wanted, up until one hour before bed. We could spend that hour talking, giggling, getting to know each other more, and anything else we could think of, but no phones, no computers, no internet.

Compromise plays a huge part in making a marriage work, and this small but important instant of realization was our first Ah Ha! moment for that issue. I guess we had never really addressed it. My stubborn ways were forcing him to let me have what I wanted, so it hadn’t proposed a problem until the one day I didn’t get that. It’s also important because men and women have minds that work completely different. He may never understand your need for one on one time, and you may never understand his need for alone time. The important thing isn’t to understand it, but to allow the other what they need, then meeting each other in the middle.


*This picture was taken photographer and my sister Mary Jo Aguilera. Go visit her facebook page!

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